I Asked for a Raise at Work, and Here's My Tale

Can you believe that in a recent study, less than half of the women surveyed have ever asked for a raise in their field?

Because I can.

I mean, let's be honest: asking for a raise is scary. What if your boss says no, and you're completely embarrassed? Or what if she says no, and then fires you? Plus, the whole asking for money thing itself isn't all that easy. How do you even bring that up?

These were all of the things running through my head recently, moments before I asked for a raise for the first time in my life. Honestly, I was terrified.

But I did it anyway. And today, I'm sharing my tale.

Why I decided to ask for a raise

Like most tales I know, this one begins in my swivel desk chair. (I don't hear a lot of tales, okay?) In my swivel chair, the thought struck me: should I ask for a raise?

But as simple as this question sounds, the answer was anything but. In fact, I could only answer that one simple question by first answering five more:

• How long have I been with this company? If it has been less than a year, it may be best to hold off and establish yourself as a reliable employee first.
• How long has it been since my last pay increase? If you just got one (and it was fair), it could be too soon. (The "one raise per year" benchmark is a good place to start.)
• How valuable am I to this company? If you're worker bee #4,563 in the office and not moving up, it might be hard to prove you deserve a pay increase (especially if you're just meeting expectations instead of exceeding them).
• Have I done anything noteworthy since my last pay increase? This isn't Christmas, after all; you gotta earn that shiz.
• Is my company in a position to give me a raise? Asking for a raise while your company's in a slump might just make you seem out-of-touch.

In my case, all lights were green—there was no reason I shouldn't ask.

How I prepared to ask

Once I determined that I should do this thing, I needed a plan for actually asking. And like most good plans, this one required a bit of thought (and a few days of mumbling practice negotiations to myself).

After a good amount of research and much appreciated advice, I decided to focus on three things:

Showing I had earned the raise, not that I needed it

What I wanted to emphasize most was that my work warranted a pay increase, not that the company was obligated to give me one. Specifically, I came up with a few concrete reasons—new responsibilities I had taken on and a few recent successes—that showed why I was valuable, and why I deserved to be paid more.

The last thing I wanted was to be a beggar or a complainer by saying that I needed the money to buy new shoes or that other people were making more than me. I wanted to focus on why the company needed me, not the other way around.

Balancing confidence with politeness 

I knew this discussion would be a tricky balancing act: I wanted to appear confident and assertive, but also not arrogant or just plain rude. After all, even though I am an asset to my company, they don't have to pay me, especially if I'm a demanding jerk.

Although every situation and every boss is different, you can probably never go wrong with manners and respect. So my plan was to begin the conversation by saying how happy I was with our arrangement, and then asking if we could have a discussion about raising my pay.

Of course, being polite and agreeable isn't the same as being a doormat—I needed to approach the discussion with confidence in myself and what I was asking. The point is to avoid being an a-hole about it.

Deciding what I'd do if I was rejected 

I'm always skeptical of a plan that doesn't include a Plan B in case things go wrong.

Here, there was the chance my raise request would be shot down. However, I knew I wasn't going to quit my position if I didn't get the pay increase. (Although someone else in a different position may feel differently, which is OK too.)

So if I was shot down, my plan was to ask what I could do to deserve a raise in the future. (And then, of course, do that.)

How it went down

In a perfect world, I would say that I sat down like a cool, confident cucumber, and executed my "Give Me a Raise" speech like a boss.

As I'm sure you've noticed from the number of calories in baked goods and wine, however, this isn't a perfect world.

So the discussion was not at all like I had imagined. For example, there was a bit more small talk than I had intended. And when I did broach the subject of raising my pay, there wasn't much to discuss: before I could even get out all of the reasons I had been mumbling to myself for days, we had already agreed that a pay increase would happen.

It was almost as if he had been expecting me to ask. Which made me wonder, "Why didn't I ask sooner?"

The moral of this story? Asking for a raise is scary, and it takes a bit of time to prepare. But if you think you should do it, then you have to go for it; it could turn out to be a lot easier than you'd think.

Have you ever asked for a raise? How did it go?